The Fairytale Traveler
In Memoirs and Rants

When Your Divorce is Better than Your Wedding Day

By
Christa thompson, st augustine,

Surprise. I’m divorced. Yes, that’s correct, I’ve cannon balled into the metaphoric pool of American statistics. And I couldn’t be happier. Why? Because we weren’t happy: that’s why. And since I’m a solid believer of the idea that people control their own happiness, it seemed like the logical thing to do for both of us. I mean, after all, our matrimony was pretty much a fluke. I married the man who knocked me up after four months of dating. It would appear I am not impervious to sperm after all. Don’t get me wrong: I gave our marriage a good college try, but we were all wrong for each other. Dragging it out would have undoubtedly set a terrible example for our son. What would he think of marriage and relationships after seeing two people like passing ships in the night? I didn’t want that for him, and either did my ex. Still, it wasn’t an easy decision.

 

Just Divorced – The Eye Opener I Needed

 

We spent in total five years together. Two of those years were pretty much on the divorce train. I remember the very day I decided enough was enough. I was parked under this old oak tree, a place I would go to every day on my way home from work to avoid actually going home. I would sneak in a cheeky smoke (when I smoked) and work myself up to facing my ex-husband. It’s not that he was mean or anything, I was just so incredibly bored and miserable, I literally got anxiety just thinking of being there. I was also bearing the entire weight of the family responsibility while he worked 70+ hours a week. He just wasn’t available. Emotionally, physically, mentally, he wasn’t there.

 

As I sat under that tree, I saw a Jeep Cherokee drive by with the words “Just divorced, I got the Jeep” written in the back window with shoe polish as if it were headed to the local homecoming football game. It made me laugh, then think and that’s when I pulled the trigger on bagging the marriage, cutting my losses and moving on. And two years of marriage counseling wasn’t helping.

 

Now you might be sitting there saying, “oh that’s just so sad”. But listen here: it was the best day (apart from having my son) of my life! I drove home that day, took my ex aside and said “I want a divorce”. He said, “Okay. When do we start?” And that was that.

 

The coming weeks were interesting. We shared the house. He would stay there three nights a week; I would stay with friends. When I had the house, he would stay at my best friend’s house (who is married to his best friend). Clearly they were the ones who actually suffered from our divorce.

 

There were a few awkward times, like when I came in to grab some clothes and he was out cold in bed while our son was dismantling my master closet (as in toddler on the loose). But mostly, it went very smoothly.

 

So many people say “oh I’m so sorry to hear you went through a divorce”, like it’s cancer. My divorce was one of the best decisions of my life, for my son’s life and for my ex. I strongly feel that my son has a better idea of what’s right and wrong, and will move onto long healthy relationships, as he gets older.

 

Divorce was the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life. One which led me to become the blogger I am now, giving my son a life of travel and leading by the greatest example of all; that we DO control our own happiness, and that everyone should live a life of intention doing what they love and chasing their dreams.

 

I have no regrets feom my divorce other than the legal side of it. I wish I had paid for better advice as I am now going through a custody battle which could have been avoided had I created certain contingencies. Oddly enough, this battle is far more mentally exhausting than my divorce.

 

If you feel like it’s over, I say end it. Don’t be an empty shell of who you are. Life is short and time is not reimbursed. We weren’t meant to live for what looks right, we should live for what feels right.

 

Author

Christa Thompson is the Founder and Chief Editor of The Fairytale Traveler. She started traveling the world in 2003 when she attended a summer abroad study at the University of Cambridge in England. Since then, her wanderlust has been fierce. Her three passions in life are her son, traveling, and being creative. The Fairytale Traveler brand gives Christa the opportunity to do all of these things and to live intentionally every day. "It's never too late to believe in what you love and to pursue your dreams." -Christa Thompson

191 Comments

  2. Audrey Stewart Reply

    I have divorced also. Many years ago. I used to say, “If I had killed him when I wanted to, I would done be out of prison.”

  3. Jim Reply

    Think you for your words I am going through a divorce myself it’s nice to hear other people story’s

  9. Elena Reply

    tweet-https://twitter.com/ElenaIstomina/status/780557387115573248

  16. Natalie Reply

    My favorite TV show was Psych, but it ended its last season a couple years ago.

  19. Julie Wood Reply

    My favorite TV show is Blue Bloods. I love watching Tom Selleck in this show. Such good acting.

  20. Julie Wood Reply

    tweet-https://twitter.com/JewelWood/status/780738002540597249

  24. Debbi Wellenstein Reply

    Right now my favorite show is Orange is the New Black. I also like the one episode of Designated Survivor that I saw.

  28. Stephanie V. Reply

    Game of Thrones is my fave tv show tvollowitz at aol dot com

  32. rosepetalsinthesea Reply

    My all-time favorite is The Walking Dead. Thanks for the giveaway! – HilLesha

  38. Steve Weber Reply

    My favorite TV show is Curb Your Enthusiasm

    groogruxking40 @ gmail dot com

  43. Erika Reply

    My favorite of all time would be Arrested Development or The Office. 🙂

    chambanachik(at)gmail(dot)com

  44. Eileen Richter Reply

    I watch the ID channel. a lot. How appropriate. One of the best is Betrayal. Even more fitting.

  46. elishia bakle Reply

    Ok so I am currently addicted to netflix! I am loving Shamless!!! US version!

  51. Jennifer B Reply

    I have a lot of favorites, I think if I had to pick one it would be Game Of thrones

  52. shar y Reply

    My favorite show is Nashville. They took it off of ABC but I think it may be resurrected on another channel. Looking forward to the new show.

  55. Jessie C. Reply

    Elementary is my favorite TV show.
    tcarolinep at gmail dot com

  56. Jessie C. Reply

    tweet-https://twitter.com/tcarolinep/status/781608497813291008

  58. Allison Swain Reply

    American Horror Story! . Thanks for the chance to win this!

    allisonrsdswain(AT)gmail(DOT)com

  67. shelly peterson Reply

    Criminal Minds is one of my favorite shows.
    cshell090869 at aol dot com

  71. Elle Reply

    I don’t know if I have a true favorite but I do love Law and Order SVU, been watching since the very beginning.

  73. Amy Tong Reply

    My favorite was Sex and the City…don’t really have one now so I really look forward to watching Divorce. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story.

    amy [at] uTry [dot] it

  77. Cynthia C Reply

    I enjoy so many! I like crime shows like Criminal Minds and Forensic Files.

  84. Ashley C Reply

    My favorite TV show is Sons of Anarchy. Yes, I know it’s not on TV anymore. But, I own the entire series and I’m on my 3rd time of watching it! Just love it. 😀 Thanks so much for the chance to win!

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  102. Meegan Reply

    I saw the pilot for Divorce on HBOgo the other day and really liked it! Right now I am enjoying The Americans on FX.

  104. tat2gurlzrock Reply

    So many I love! One of my favorites is Orange Is The New Black.

  110. Anne Reply

    My favorite TV show of all time is probably Northern Exposure. Loved the characters, and that it was funny, sad, and touching, all at the same time.

  115. Natalie J Vandenberghe Reply

    I still watch Jeopardy five nights a week and I like Antiques Roadshow and the Great British Baking Show.

  117. Jennai Reply

    My favorite tv show is The Big Bang Theory
    jenniferanne74 @ aol.com

  121. jalapenomamamn Reply

    My favorite TV show – Grey’s Anatomy.
    I am a dedicated fan.
    thank you

  130. angie Reply

    My favorite TV show is probably either “House of Cards” or “How to Get Away with Murder.”

  136. Linda Reply

    Hard to believe even for me but my friends got me hooked on The Walking Dead!

  143. Brenda Elsner Reply

    I love watching supernatural, forensic files, the walking dead

  148. slehan Reply

    I don’t watch TV. Don’t even own a TV and don’t watch on the computer. Have a full life without it.
    Thanks for the contest.

    slehan at juno dot com

  153. Annette Reply

    I don’t get to watch much TV, but I look forward to 48 Hours on Saturday nghts.

  167. Shayna Reply

    I HAVE A FEW FAVORITES, I LIKE NCIS, THE VOICE AND THE NEW SHOW, THIS IS US 🙂

  169. Kathryn C Reply

    #SweepstakesEntry – comment

    I enjoy The Big Bang Theory and also The Walking Dead!

  177. Tabathia B Reply

    I have so many, I enjoy BBC shows Sherlock and Doctor Who. I am a fan of the walking dead, game of thrones, blacklist, blindspot, ncis shows, several syfy shows, lucifier

    tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com

  189. snowlark2 Reply

    I have a couple of favorite shows, one older one is Roswell and a present one is Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

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