When Your Divorce is Better than Your Wedding Day

Surprise. I’m divorced. Yes, that’s correct, I’ve cannon balled into the metaphoric pool of American statistics. And I couldn’t be happier. Why? Because we weren’t happy: that’s why. And since I’m a solid believer of the idea that people control their own happiness, it seemed like the logical thing to do for both of us. I mean, after all, our matrimony was pretty much a fluke. I married the man who knocked me up after four months of dating. It would appear I am not impervious to sperm after all. Don’t get me wrong: I gave our marriage a good college try, but we were all wrong for each other. Dragging it out would have undoubtedly set a terrible example for our son. What would he think of marriage and relationships after seeing two people like passing ships in the night? I didn’t want that for him, and either did my ex. Still, it wasn’t an easy decision.

 

Just Divorced – The Eye Opener I Needed

 

We spent in total five years together. Two of those years were pretty much on the divorce train. I remember the very day I decided enough was enough. I was parked under this old oak tree, a place I would go to every day on my way home from work to avoid actually going home. I would sneak in a cheeky smoke (when I smoked) and work myself up to facing my ex-husband. It’s not that he was mean or anything, I was just so incredibly bored and miserable, I literally got anxiety just thinking of being there. I was also bearing the entire weight of the family responsibility while he worked 70+ hours a week. He just wasn’t available. Emotionally, physically, mentally, he wasn’t there.

 

As I sat under that tree, I saw a Jeep Cherokee drive by with the words “Just divorced, I got the Jeep” written in the back window with shoe polish as if it were headed to the local homecoming football game. It made me laugh, then think and that’s when I pulled the trigger on bagging the marriage, cutting my losses and moving on. And two years of marriage counseling wasn’t helping.

 

Now you might be sitting there saying, “oh that’s just so sad”. But listen here: it was the best day (apart from having my son) of my life! I drove home that day, took my ex aside and said “I want a divorce”. He said, “Okay. When do we start?” And that was that.

 

The coming weeks were interesting. We shared the house. He would stay there three nights a week; I would stay with friends. When I had the house, he would stay at my best friend’s house (who is married to his best friend). Clearly they were the ones who actually suffered from our divorce.

 

There were a few awkward times, like when I came in to grab some clothes and he was out cold in bed while our son was dismantling my master closet (as in toddler on the loose). But mostly, it went very smoothly.

 

So many people say “oh I’m so sorry to hear you went through a divorce”, like it’s cancer. My divorce was one of the best decisions of my life, for my son’s life and for my ex. I strongly feel that my son has a better idea of what’s right and wrong, and will move onto long healthy relationships, as he gets older.

 

Divorce was the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life. One which led me to become the blogger I am now, giving my son a life of travel and leading by the greatest example of all; that we DO control our own happiness, and that everyone should live a life of intention doing what they love and chasing their dreams.

 

I have no regrets feom my divorce other than the legal side of it. I wish I had paid for better advice as I am now going through a custody battle which could have been avoided had I created certain contingencies. Oddly enough, this battle is far more mentally exhausting than my divorce.

 

If you feel like it’s over, I say end it. Don’t be an empty shell of who you are. Life is short and time is not reimbursed. We weren’t meant to live for what looks right, we should live for what feels right.

 


About Christa Thompson

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Christa Thompson is the Founder and Chief Editor of The Fairytale Traveler. She started traveling the world in 2003 when she attended a summer abroad study at the University of Cambridge in England. Since then, her wanderlust has been fierce. Her three passions in life are her son, traveling, and being creative. The Fairytale Traveler brand gives Christa the opportunity to do all of these things and to live intentionally every day."It's never too late to believe in what you love and to pursue your dreams." -Christa Thompson

191 Comments on this post

  1. I have divorced also. Many years ago. I used to say, “If I had killed him when I wanted to, I would done be out of prison.”

    Audrey Stewart / Reply
  2. Think you for your words I am going through a divorce myself it’s nice to hear other people story’s

    Jim / Reply
  3. Old shows – it would be Early Edition. New – I am liking Designated Survivor.

    Ken C / Reply
  4. Looking forward to This Is Us. Parenthood was so good!

    Alana / Reply
  5. Project Runway is my favorite show.

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    grandgiveaways / Reply
  6. tweet–https://twitter.com/mami2jcn/status/780528909045604352

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    grandgiveaways / Reply
  7. My favorite show is Dr. Phil

    Elena / Reply
  8. tweet-https://twitter.com/ElenaIstomina/status/780557387115573248

    Elena / Reply
  9. My favorite TV show is The Blacklist.

    Will G / Reply
  10. My favorite tv show is the Big Bang Theory.

    Kelly D / Reply
  11. I love the Walking Dead shows. Thanks so much.

    Margaret Smith / Reply
  12. Margaret Smith / Reply
  13. My favorite TV show was Psych, but it ended its last season a couple years ago.

    Natalie / Reply
  14. I love The Walking Dead

    Ashley C / Reply
  15. My favorite TV show is Blue Bloods. I love watching Tom Selleck in this show. Such good acting.

    Julie Wood / Reply
  16. tweet-https://twitter.com/JewelWood/status/780738002540597249

    Julie Wood / Reply
  17. One of my favorite shows is Scorpion!

    Rachel / Reply
  18. My favorite is supernatural

    nickie / Reply
  19. Right now my favorite show is Orange is the New Black. I also like the one episode of Designated Survivor that I saw.

    Debbi Wellenstein / Reply
  20. Supernatural!

    Elizabeth Drake / Reply
  21. Lately I’ve been enjoying Modern Family.

    Sandy Klocinski / Reply
  22. Game of Thrones is my fave tv show tvollowitz at aol dot com

    Stephanie V. / Reply
  23. My favorite show to watch right now is Shamless and Hung!!

  24. My favorite TV show right now is The Voice.

    Jessica To / Reply
  25. My all-time favorite is The Walking Dead. Thanks for the giveaway! – HilLesha

    rosepetalsinthesea / Reply
  26. I don’t watch any TV except the news.

    Denise S / Reply
  27. My favorite TV show right now is Blacklist.

    Shauntea Crutcher / Reply
  28. My favorite show is The Walking Dead.
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    Kiara / Reply
  29. I like NCIS
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    Lisa Brown / Reply
  30. tweet-https://twitter.com/LuLu_Brown24/status/781050846045876224
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    Lisa Brown / Reply
  31. My favorite TV show is Curb Your Enthusiasm

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    Steve Weber / Reply
  32. My favorite television show is Shameless.

    heather / Reply
  33. My favorite tv show is the young and restless

    Bev Henry / Reply
  34. I loved House of Cards, but on a weekly basis Chopped!

    OFG / Reply
  35. My favorite of all time would be Arrested Development or The Office. 🙂

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    Erika / Reply
  36. I watch the ID channel. a lot. How appropriate. One of the best is Betrayal. Even more fitting.

    Eileen Richter / Reply
  37. OH yeah. Best sweeps in a long time. Tweeted it out! https://twitter.com/2sic2mooov/status/781332000535896064

    Eileen Richter / Reply
  38. Ok so I am currently addicted to netflix! I am loving Shamless!!! US version!

    elishia bakle / Reply
  39. My favorite TV show is Game of Thrones!

    Madeline / Reply
  40. My favorite TV show is Scorpion.

    Rachel / Reply
  41. I have a lot of favorites, I think if I had to pick one it would be Game Of thrones

    Jennifer B / Reply
  42. My favorite show is Nashville. They took it off of ABC but I think it may be resurrected on another channel. Looking forward to the new show.

    shar y / Reply
  43. I love The Affair

    paige chandler / Reply
  44. Elementary is my favorite TV show.
    tcarolinep at gmail dot com

    Jessie C. / Reply
  45. tweet-https://twitter.com/tcarolinep/status/781608497813291008

    Jessie C. / Reply
  46. I have so many, but Law and Order is one of them.

    Christina Sauve Oliver / Reply
  47. American Horror Story! . Thanks for the chance to win this!

    allisonrsdswain(AT)gmail(DOT)com

    Allison Swain / Reply
  48. Allison Swain / Reply
  49. My favorite TV show right now is The Mindy Project. Makes me laugh out loud 🙂

    Tara O. / Reply
  50. We loved White Collar

    katherine / Reply
  51. Grey’s Anatomy

    Julie Detwiler / Reply
  52. My favorite TV show is the Amazing Race.

    Denise L / Reply
  53. my fave tv show is Greys Anatomy.

    nlamore79gmailcom / Reply
  54. Criminal Minds is one of my favorite shows.
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    shelly peterson / Reply
  55. shelly peterson / Reply
  56. i like Mr Robot

    jen gersch / Reply
  57. I don’t know if I have a true favorite but I do love Law and Order SVU, been watching since the very beginning.

    Elle / Reply
  58. My favorite was Sex and the City…don’t really have one now so I really look forward to watching Divorce. 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story.

    amy [at] uTry [dot] it

    Amy Tong / Reply
  59. Amy Tong / Reply
  60. Game of Thrones!

    mita / Reply
  61. I enjoy so many! I like crime shows like Criminal Minds and Forensic Files.

    Cynthia C / Reply
  62. My favorite TV show is the Big Bang Theory.

    Susan Smith / Reply
  63. Fixer Upper on HGTV.

    Robin / Reply
  64. heather / Reply
  65. Love Big Bang theort

    Alicia / Reply
  66. My favorite TV show is Sons of Anarchy. Yes, I know it’s not on TV anymore. But, I own the entire series and I’m on my 3rd time of watching it! Just love it. 😀 Thanks so much for the chance to win!

    Ashley C / Reply
  67. Ashley C / Reply
  68. […] open road! For one full year I didn’t travel. I thought I was going to die. Long story short, my ex husband was not right for me, and before long I was a single mom. Still, I loved my life. I had already […]

  69. I like the Good Wife

    latanya t / Reply
  70. my favorite show right now is chicago fire

    raggammuffin / Reply
  71. Right now, I like Dancing with the Stars.

    Rebecca Graham / Reply
  72. The 100 is my favorite show.

    patricia skinner / Reply
  73. I like The Blacklist

    Elizabeth p / Reply
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  75. I love True Crime type shows and AHS.

    aitch77 / Reply
  76. Right now I am loving Westworld!!

    Kim H. / Reply
  77. That’s a a tough one. Maybe Breaking Bad.

    Julie / Reply
  78. My favorite show is Blackish. My tweet is at https://twitter.com/xoxoKloves/status/787838252673892352

    Kelsey / Reply
  79. I have two Outlander and The Walking Dead!

    Sue Barney / Reply
  80. I saw the pilot for Divorce on HBOgo the other day and really liked it! Right now I am enjoying The Americans on FX.

    Meegan / Reply
  81. chicago med is my current favorite

    sandra / Reply
  82. So many I love! One of my favorites is Orange Is The New Black.

    tat2gurlzrock / Reply
  83. tat2gurlzrock / Reply
  84. It is tough to say but I really like Game of Thrones.

    Laura Bowe / Reply
  85. My favorite show right now is Inkmaster.

    Susan Chester / Reply
  86. I like game of throne.

    Tina M / Reply
  87. My favorite TV show of all time is probably Northern Exposure. Loved the characters, and that it was funny, sad, and touching, all at the same time.

    Anne / Reply
  88. I tweeted about your post and the giveaway from HBO’s Divorce:
    https://twitter.com/NotherAnneOther/status/788399215378653185
    Thanks.

    Anne / Reply
  89. My fav TV show of all times is Seinfeld but right now I guess my fav would be Fixer Upper. I love home shows. Also, I tweeted your giveaway! https://twitter.com/leblancpatti/status/788460202123075584

    Patti / Reply
  90. Arrested Development

    GT / Reply
  91. My favorite. TV show is Supernatural

    mary almand / Reply
  92. I still watch Jeopardy five nights a week and I like Antiques Roadshow and the Great British Baking Show.

    Natalie J Vandenberghe / Reply
  93. Natalie J Vandenberghe / Reply
  94. My favorite tv show is The Big Bang Theory
    jenniferanne74 @ aol.com

    Jennai / Reply
  95. The show looks like it will be really, really good!

    Lisa Edwards / Reply
  96. MASH is my all-time favorite.

    Erica B. / Reply
  97. Law & Order SVU is my favorite.

    Ellie Wright / Reply
  98. My favorite TV show – Grey’s Anatomy.
    I am a dedicated fan.
    thank you

    jalapenomamamn / Reply
  99. I just started watching The Good Wife and really am enjoying it.

    busyworkingmama / Reply
  100. My favorite TV show is Desperate Housewives!!

    Ashley B / Reply
  101. Sherlock!

    Sara / Reply
  102. My favorite TV show is Pushing Daisies.

    Zoey / Reply
  103. My favorite TV show is probably either “House of Cards” or “How to Get Away with Murder.”

    angie / Reply
  104. my favorite tv show is this is us. i look forward to it every week.

    susan smoaks / Reply
  105. supernatural is my current fav

    Daniel M / Reply
  106. My favorite tv show is NCIS. I have been watching it for years! my4boysand1@gmail.com

    StephaniePhelps / Reply
  107. Hard to believe even for me but my friends got me hooked on The Walking Dead!

    Linda / Reply
  108. My favorite right now is Modern Family.

    Lisa Voyce / Reply
  109. This is Us!

    Kerry / Reply
  110. My favorite tv show is forensic files

    Kathy Pease / Reply
  111. “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend”!

    Ed / Reply
  112. I love watching supernatural, forensic files, the walking dead

    Brenda Elsner / Reply
  113. My favorite show right now is Supergirl. I love it!
    pixelberrypie at yahoo dot com

    Tarissa / Reply
  114. I love all the real housewives,terrible I know!

    Tabitha / Reply
  115. Divorce is one of my new favorites along with This Is Us.

    Kristen / Reply
  116. I don’t watch TV. Don’t even own a TV and don’t watch on the computer. Have a full life without it.
    Thanks for the contest.

    slehan at juno dot com

    slehan / Reply
  117. The only show I watch is Big Bang Theory

    Bruce / Reply
  118. I don’t get to watch much TV, but I look forward to 48 Hours on Saturday nghts.

    Annette / Reply
  119. SUPERNATURAL

    maria cantu / Reply
  120. A favorite TV show is True Nightmares.

    Michelle Castagne / Reply
  121. my fav is walking dead

    sherri crawford / Reply
  122. My fav show is Hells Kitchen.

    Claudia Davis / Reply
  123. Empire

    LYN WILLIAMS / Reply
  124. Supernatural and my favorite new show is This is Us.

    Francine Anchondo / Reply
  125. Francine Anchondo / Reply
  126. I like the walking dead.

    Thomas Murphy / Reply
  127. My favorite TV shows are DWTS, The Blacklist and Project Runway.

    orchidlady01 / Reply
  128. I HAVE A FEW FAVORITES, I LIKE NCIS, THE VOICE AND THE NEW SHOW, THIS IS US 🙂

    Shayna / Reply
  129. American housewife

    traymona / Reply
  130. #SweepstakesEntry – comment

    I enjoy The Big Bang Theory and also The Walking Dead!

    Kathryn C / Reply
  131. Kathryn C / Reply
  132. It is a tie between Game Of Thrones and Walking Dead.

    Seyma Shabbir / Reply
  133. My favorite tv show is Real Stories of the ER.

    Buddy Garrett / Reply
  134. My favorite TV show is 60 Days In! Thanks for an awesome giveaway!

    Andysavi.Mom@gmail.com

    Angela Saver / Reply
  135. How To Get Away With Murder is my favorite show at the moment.

    Shannon / Reply
  136. I have so many, I enjoy BBC shows Sherlock and Doctor Who. I am a fan of the walking dead, game of thrones, blacklist, blindspot, ncis shows, several syfy shows, lucifier

    tbarrettno1 at gmail dot com

    Tabathia B / Reply
  137. Tabathia B / Reply
  138. My favorite is Znation

    bbybrwneyez34 / Reply
  139. My favorite TV show is I Dream of Jeannie by Sidney Sheldon, with Barbara Eden.

    Jerry Marquardt / Reply
  140. Jerry Marquardt / Reply
  141. My favorite shows are NCIS and Criminal Minds.

    Betty C / Reply
  142. Law & Order SVU is my favorite show right now!

    Leah Shumack / Reply
  143. Leah Shumack / Reply
  144. One of my fav shows is Law and Order

    Richard Hicks / Reply
  145. I have a couple of favorite shows, one older one is Roswell and a present one is Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

    snowlark2 / Reply

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