Surviving divorce is a journey. For many people, the realization that their marriage was but a chapter in their lives, and that the person they thought they were going to spend the rest of their days with is now walking away with some of their most intimate secrets, is enough to send them into a mild panic.
For most, divorce represents unchartered waters, a peek into the unknown where you must leave all that has become so familiar — and start again.
But there are steps that can be taken to navigate successfully through these turbulent waters and arrive in a happier land.
Build a Support Network
The first and most important takeaway from this article is that surviving divorce means having a lot of people who love you in your corner. The people you have around you are instrumental in your recovery and will help stave off any feelings of loneliness.
A good network of friends and family will give you support when you need it and help put things into perspective.
Knowing someone who has been through the process themselves can provide you with invaluable knowledge and help you avoid some of the potholes in the road ahead.
Find Yourself Again
It is easy in a marriage to become half of a whole and forget the person you were before you met your spouse. Surviving divorce means finding yourself again or, discovering the new you.
Finding that person and encouraging them to become an independent individual will help you come to terms with what has happened and move forward with your life in a positive way.
Rediscover a hobby or pastime that you left behind, or start something new that you can enjoy outside of your failed marriage.
This will also help fill the time that may otherwise be spent mourning the loss of your marriage.
Get a Plan of Action
Both short-term and long-term plans need to be put in place for a seamless parting of ways. Make a list of everything that needs to happen.
Do you need a job? Do you need to rent an apartment? What joint assets need to be sold?
Once a solid plan of action is in place, it will help dispel some of the fear that goes with facing the unknown and makes you feel more in control of your future.
Should you need a lawyer, then make sure you get the ball rolling and make some appointments. Click here for a reputable law firm based in Salt Lake City if you live here.
Make a New Home
Saying goodbye to your family home is one of the hardest parts of getting a divorce.
Of course, a home is somewhere you have always felt safe and relaxed, and no doubt there will be some good memories intermingled with all the bad ones; however, it’s important to move on — and not only in the practical sense.
Find somewhere to live that you would like to go home to. Rarely is a single abode as extravagant as the marital home; however, even a shoebox can be made to feel lovely and homely.
If you are challenged in this department, then get a friend to help you. This is also important if you have kids as they will need a place that feels cozy when they are with you.
Keep Contact with Your Ex to a Minimum
Let divorce signal the end of the fight and put the bickering behind you. The best way to achieve this is to spend as little time in each other’s company as possible.
Of course, there may still be issues that need sorting out, but wherever possible, let your legal team handle that. You need to turn your focus on sorting out your future. Your ex is now part of your past, and that’s where they should remain.
Look After Your Health
It is easy as a newly single person to ignore your own health and nutrition, but this is an essential part of not only gaining your independence but also maintaining a healthy mind and outlook.
Don’t slip into the habit of eating cereal for breakfast; take the time to prepare healthy and nutritious meals. Remember that the end goal is to be happy, and you cannot be truly happy unless you are also healthy.
Getting out and exercising will help release good endorphins and will reward you in the long term much more than sitting on your sofa with a bag of chips feeling sorry for yourself. If you can find a friend to get healthy with, then all the better.
Another piece of advice if you are a yoga freak is to not take any private lessons from your Yoga trainer. Divorce can be challenging, and any unwanted touch from outsiders can make you feel awkward quickly.
While attraction is part of human nature, your yoga trainer should know the boundaries, especially when dealing with a person who is surviving divorce. Click here to learn more about what you should do when the yoga teacher is hitting on you.
Spend some time doing things that you enjoy. Divorce is a grueling process, so it’s important to find time for laughter throughout.
Actively Manage Your Finances
Divorce is an expensive time for those involved, so finances need to be managed closely to avoid them increasing your burdens. It is advisable to rely on professionals as they can help you with your budgeting.
In the interest of surviving your divorce, it is important to forgive both your ex and yourself. Hatred bubbling away inside you will only make it impossible to move on with your life, and in the case of divorce, it is rare that one party is entirely blameless.
Focus instead on finding joy in your future. And realizing what you expect in a future partner.
Surviving divorce won’t be easy. If you follow the tips above you will find a journey of growth and evolution that will leave you feeling worthy, fulfilled, and happy to love yourself. Only then can you start to move forward with another partner.