Disclaimer: What women want in a man was written from my point of view. There are certainly more things to be added in here, but let this serve as a baseline to all on how to act as an adult in search of love. Also, this memo was laced with trigger words to weed out immature, emotionally unavailable and non-committal babies.
What Women Want in a Man – A recipe for forever type love
It looks like Sid and Nancy, Bonnie and Clyde, Morticia and Gomez, Ben and Lauren, Sunny and Cher… You get it, right?
I’m talking ride or die.
I’m 36 years old. I know what I want, I’m not going to settle for someone to make their way to my page. This is the page that I’m on. There is no doubt in my mind that this is what women want in a man. Furthermore, what both partners should want from each other.
Quality over Quantity
The idea of spending time together that is so freaking amazing it leaves a couple completely doubt-free, 100% fulfilled and secure. Quality of time vs. quantity of time. Quality time offers a good balance of personal alone time away from each other allowing time to appreciate the other in their absence. It’s time created by sharing physical, intellectual and emotional intimacy as well as doing special things together (be that a date or something traditional and special to the couple).
Respect – The #1 Cheerleader
This is not just baseline common courtesy, but a true deep respect for your partner. Respect their work, their goals, their challenges and commend their personal achievements while being utterly and sincerely proud they are your partner and supporting their mission.
Partner Responsibility
Be accountable when you screw up, take constructive criticism and value your partner’s opinion because they are your #1 Cheerleader and they are on your team. Inversely, you should also embrace their quirks and mannerisms. Those things are unique to them. Being someone’s partner is a choice, not a sentence. If you choose them every day, do so by acceptance. Don’t try to change their values or politics. Love them for who they are. If if you can’t then maybe you should bounce.
Intimate Responsibility
Be open-minded about sex and enjoy a steady regular sex life. But beyond this, you have a responsibility to fill the needs of affection. Because no one but you can fill this need. Holding hands, smacking asses or just finding little ways to communicate love without the need for words is SO important. Personal jokes and banter are also important to build a special bond. If one or both slack in this area, the relationship will hit a wall and eventually end.
In my thirties, I’ve learned all too well that there is a cruel joke on us women who are in their sexual prime vs men who are on the downside of their sexcapades. But it doesn’t have to be this way. There are all kinds of pills that work. So talk to your future life partner about it and see if he’s down for a little help in the libido department.
In addition, you can find plenty of sexual aids on the market that could help put the spark into your relationship – everything from vibrators, G-spot toys, and even masturbators for men.
Communication
Communication between partners about expectations, personal boundaries, and conflicts should be transparent, respectful, considerate and prompt. NEED I SAY PROMPT again? Don’t be the jerk who expects their partner to read your mind. Whip out the construction paper and scissors and get Kindergarten style on their asses. Sometimes we all need to be told when we’re not being amazing.
Compassion
When your partner has a bad day (we all have them) they turn to you for advice, love, comfort… because how effed up would it be if they turned to someone else, some other dude or girl? If you don’t offer them the love and comfort they need through sincere compassion, they will find it elsewhere. Step up your game and be there for each other, no matter what.