Sponsored by Good Behavior on TNT. Watch the 2-episode series premiere Tuesday, November 15 at 9/8c.
I’m a single mom. I’m centered and well-balanced. I homeschool my kid, I have it all figured out. I’m a full-time blogger, I’m living the dream, and life is good. These are the lies I tell myself. I came to this realization after screening a new T.V. series called, Good Behavior on TNT. Truth be told, I’m a hot mess just like you. Or maybe you’re one of those super perfect moms who measure each and every carb you eat, fill every time slot with something amazing for your kid and never EVER leave the house without makeup. If you are, I am sorry. I just can’t relate.
My Every Day Crazy Life
Every day I wake up and I know three things: I have to make sure my son doesn’t set anything on fire, I didn’t lose 40 pounds in my sleep, and I will try to be better than I was the day before. Everything else is fair game. I live an unconventional life. Nothing in my life is well-balanced. Nothing is centered. No matter how hard I try, it’s impossible to keep things on an even keel. Imagine this: living a double life, which toggles between a domesticated mother who home schools her son, to international travel, lifestyle and film blogger. Just when I feel like things are starting to iron out and that balance is happening I’m on another plane to this event or that destination. In all honesty, in all my success, I feel defeated.
When I don’t have time to work out, clean the house or even put together a Lego set with my kid, I feel defeated. Is there just not enough of me to go around?
Balance is Not the Grind
I’d like to circle back and clarify that there is a difference between balance and routine. While the mom who’s on a strict schedule, living a life of time slots and routine may feel balanced, that is not balance. Balance is living equal parts of the facets in life that make you happy and healthy. For me, these things are being a good mom, staying healthy, being fit, growing my brand, traveling, crafting, being a good girlfriend and friend. Let’s recall, I told you I was living this lie. I tell myself I’m centered and balanced, but in truth, I feel anything but.
So What’s Making Me so Off-Centered?
Over the last three years, I’ve gained 40 pounds from traveling the world, dining at the finest restaurants and missing out on any real-time in the gym. Jet lag and poor diet consume my energy leaving me to live in a vicious cycle of rushing to get things done before a trip, being on a trip and then coming home only to be too tired to hit the gym. In my health and fitness facet, I am failing. Inversely (when I’m home for more than seven days at a time) I eat very healthy and work out. But it’s not enough. Over the last three years, I haven’t spent nearly enough daily quality time with my son. Running an international brand has consumed my time and mental bandwidth. This is perhaps the most upsetting aspect of my poor balancing skills. Over the last three years, I have ignored my family, my friends and many of my blogging pals again due to lack of time and mental bandwidth. My relationships are falling apart miserably. Over the last three years I have done less, and less art projects at home, something I love as much as travel itself. Yet, over the last three years I’ve traveled internationally sixteen times, domestic twenty-seven, been to multiple red carpets events and even on set for major films. So what did I trade off? A life of balance for a life of dreams? Did I make the right choice and can I really have it all?
I Want to be Centered and Balanced
I want more than anything to be that mom who sits down with her son every day to play board games and hear all his in-depth Minecraft plots. I want to go to the gym five days a week, eat super clean, juice every day, and work out when I’m traveling. I want to have the time to be creative and make new projects, explore my new home in Atlanta, talk on the phone with my friends and family and grow a deeper relationship with my partner. I want to continue to grow my brand, seize opportunities and spark creative ideas with my colleagues.
Finding the Balance
The question is how do I do it all? How do I truly pull off centered and balanced? Or is this like a mythical island we are all swimming to while slowly drowning in a sea of life’s curveballs? After screening Good Behavior on TNT, I couldn’t help but think, “If this girl can get it together, I certainly can.” Even though being a criminal isn’t quite the same as being overwhelmed, it all boils down to the same thing, personal responsibility.
The first step for me was to realize I’ve been telling myself a lie, next is setting myself boundaries like; time limits and personal goals. Moreover, it’s holding myself accountable for slacking. I’ll be setting alarms, prepping meals, staying focused at my desk and making the gym a priority. I’ll be setting date nights with my guy, time slots with my kid and scheduling time to catch up with my friends. I feel like being centered, finding balance and of course, financial stability is the pinnacle of success. And while I do a lot of epic things and others look to me as being successful, I can honestly say I am still forging this path. Maybe I’ll figure it out, maybe I won’t, but I will be on my best behavior.
Good Behavior on TNT
2-Episode Series Premiere Tuesday, November 15 at 9/8c on TNT
Good Behavior is an upcoming American drama television series based on the novella series by Blake Crouch about Letty, a con artist. After five years of playing buttoned-up Lady Mary on Downton Abbey, which ended in March, Michelle Dockery has shed her pearls and opera gloves to play a thief and con artist Letty Raines, who is always one bad decision from implosion. Fresh out of prison, she’s attempting to get her life back in order. When she overhears a hit man being hired to kill a man’s wife, she sets out to derail the job, but gets involved in a dangerous relationship with an irresistible hit man.
How do you find your balance in life? Tell me in the comments for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card!
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