Surprise. I’m divorced. Yes, that’s correct, I’ve cannon balled into the metaphoric pool of American statistics. And I couldn’t be happier. Why? Because we weren’t happy: that’s why. And since I’m a solid believer of the idea that people control their own happiness, it seemed like the logical thing to do for both of us. I mean, after all, our matrimony was pretty much a fluke. I married the man who knocked me up after four months of dating. It would appear I am not impervious to sperm after all. Don’t get me wrong: I gave our marriage a good college try, but we were all wrong for each other. Dragging it out would have undoubtedly set a terrible example for our son. What would he think of marriage and relationships after seeing two people like passing ships in the night? I didn’t want that for him, and either did my ex. Still, it wasn’t an easy decision.
Just Divorced – The Eye Opener I Needed
We spent in total five years together. Two of those years were pretty much on the divorce train. I remember the very day I decided enough was enough. I was parked under this old oak tree, a place I would go to every day on my way home from work to avoid actually going home. I would sneak in a cheeky smoke (when I smoked) and work myself up to facing my ex-husband. It’s not that he was mean or anything, I was just so incredibly bored and miserable, I literally got anxiety just thinking of being there.
As I sat under that tree, I saw a Jeep Cherokee drive by with the words “Just divorced, I got the Jeep” written in the back window with shoe polish as if it were headed to the local homecoming football game. It made me laugh, then think and that’s when I pulled the trigger on bagging the marriage, cutting my losses and moving on.
Now you might be sitting there saying, “oh that’s just so sad”. But listen here: it was the best day (apart from having my son) of my life! I drove home that day, took my ex aside and said “I want a divorce”. He said, “Okay. When do we start?” And that was that.
The coming weeks were interesting. We shared the house. He would stay there three nights a week; I would stay with my best friend who is married to his best friend… Sooo he would stay there when I was at the house. (Clearly they were the ones who actually suffered from our divorce).
There were a few awkward times, like when I came in to grab some clothes and he was out cold in bed while our son was dismantling my master closet (as in toddler on the loose). But mostly, it went very smoothly.
So many people say “oh I’m so sorry to hear you went through a divorce”, like it’s cancer. My divorce was one of the best decisions of my life, for my son’s life and for my ex. We now get along amazingly, always working toward the benefit of our son. I strongly feel that my son has a better idea of what’s right and wrong, and will move onto long healthy relationships, as he gets older.
Divorce was the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life. One which led me to become the blogger I am now, giving my son a life of travel and leading by the greatest example of all; that we DO control our own happiness, and that everyone should live a life of intention doing what they love and chasing their dreams. This is why I am so excited to watch HBO’S new series DIVORCE.
After more than a decade of marriage and two children, Frances (Sarah Jessica Parker) has suddenly begun to reassess her life and her strained relationship with her husband Robert (Thomas Haden Church). But she soon discovers that making a clean break and a fresh start is harder than she thought.
The story of a very, very long divorce, the show follows Frances and Robert as they grapple with the fallout from their failing marriage, not just for themselves, but also for their children and friends, ranging from awkward public encounters to difficult private therapy sessions.
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